Nope, still not in the office (part 3 of at least 3)

Thank you very much for your email. Your email is important to me. I don’t know what’s in it, but I trust you to not to write unnecessary things that I have no use for. There are unnecessary things I have use for, though, and I’m perfectly fine with those. There is a distinct distinction here. I hope your email falls in the latter category. Or maybe in the ‘interesting’ category. The category of items that are both interesting and have some use for me. I hope I’ve covered all categories, and based on that hope I will move on. Actually, wait, there is also the category of interesting things that I have no use for, like how crickets make those sounds, or how Burmese pythons manage to find their home from a long way away. I will not read your email now, but I will read it when I come back. Probably. And I hope I won’t be disappointed. Hopefully. Sometimes, I delete emails to avoid disappointment. Just to be on the safe side, as there may be something unnecessary on uninteresting and for which I have no use. You should see some of the things that land in my mailbox. Not from you, though, of course. I trust you. Anyway, I still won’t read your email now. Now I’m not in the office. On the other hand, you’re getting a response before I have actually read your email. If you were inquiring about some things that are interesting but I have no interest use for, spot on. In other cases, we’ll probably continue this after I’ve read your email. How about next month, second half? Are you busy then?

I'm still not in the office; food for thought. Because 'food for thought' sounds more interesting than 'part 2'.

Let's assume you have 3 apples. A friend comes and asks for half. What do you do?
Would you offer half an apple or 1,5 apples? Or no apple at all, as they're tasty or that person is not really your friend? Or both. If you cut an apple in half, do you discard the pips, or you share those as well? The pips are supposed to be really good for your lungs. Technically, you should share the pips, too. If you decide to share the pips and some drop on the counter, do you pick them up with your bare fingers, or do you use a napkin? Or pretend to use a napkin but use your fingers when the friend's not looking? Maybe it's easier to just give an entire apple? What if the friend actually expects 1,5? A bit impolite, maybe, but still. And you're really hungry, you had nothing for lunch. The apples were supposed to be your lunch. You saw him earlier eating a sandwich. He didn't offer to share. Still, you're a nice person and decide to share. One apple is slightly larger and looks really shiny. Another one is smaller and blemished. Would you pick the nice one for yourself Life would be much easier if you had 2 identical apples instead (or no friend to notice them). Sometimes less is more. And simpler. You wouldn't have all these problems. And you wouldn't have to read this. We could focus on your email instead if I were here. I'm not here, though. I'll be back before the end of the year. I may answer sooner, but if I'm not and it's important and you want to be sure you may send me a text. Or some tasty fruit. It helps. And it's good for you. And for me, if you send me some.

Because you're also important when you're not in the office. Rather more important than when you're in.

As far as Out-Of-Office (OOO from now on, for brevity) messages go, my creativity pool for an original one (to avoid the monotony and dullness typically associated with such OOO notifications) is almost drained at the moment. For some well-defined -unless specifically vague- reason I will not be in the office for a certain amount of time, and somehow this requires to trigger a notification to you. Is it maybe because this is the only place where I can read, reply to and delete emails? Possibly. Wouldn't it be great if there could be other places, such as at other offices, in hotels or at home where I can read, reply to and delete emails? Actually no, it wouldn't. Sometimes it's really great and relaxing to be able to avoid their ubiquitous presence and the obsessive compulsion to read them and reply to them. Or delete them. Well, this isn't such a relaxing occasion. So I'll read, reply to or delete your email. Probably not as soon though. But possibly even sooner, as sometimes when I'm in the office I'm really busy reading, replying to or deleting emails. Or doing some other things. Come to think of it, my presence in the office is not really directly correlated to the speed of reading, replying to or deleting your email, but it's probably good netiquette to inform you that I'm OOO. Maybe it would be even nicer from me to take a proactive approach and inform you in advance the next time I'll be OOO? Full details and everything. This notification is just reactive, and maybe not as nice. Well, remains to be seen, I guess. We never know what the future has reserved for us. Nobody knows. If they tell you otherwise, they're lying. Or they've invented time travel. But time-travel is impossible given our current technological possibilities. And you could only do it backwards (or forward; not exactly sure, but it's only one of them), according to Stephen Hawking. He is a great scientist. So being a bit cautious when people tell they know the future is a safe bet for now. I'm not trying to stall by making you read a slightly longer than usual OOO notification hoping in the meantime I could get back in the office an read, reply to or delete your email. Honestly, I do not. Yours, $myName