The management consultant hits the fan.

I read the other day somewhere some lady's recipe for being successful and happy with your work or something in 6 easy steps. This lady is a management consultant, so anything she says must be insightful, intelligent and very useful in your career. The first insightful, intelligent and very useful idea is that it's all a matter of attitude, of the way you think about your day the first moment you wake up. If you think "I'll be unhappy", your day won't be that great. If you think "It'll be fabulous", it will certainly be this way.
First of all, if you think your day will be fabulous you are probably gay. If you're offended by the word, think it's an adjective and keep a joyful attitude.

Second of all, so far I thought my day sucked because of some idiots that happened to be a part of it.
No matter how nice I try to imagine my day will be, chances are I won't be banging a hot secretary during lunch break, take a piss in the conference room, quit my job and get home to my mansion in a 911 to never work again. I tried so hard to imagine this, but nothing so far. Usually the secretary comes to me because she forgot her password or needs for the hundredth time to see how to book the conference room in calendar.
The closest I got once was to quit and go home in a cab because it was raining as hell.

There are 5 other ideas marked with headlines in a different font -in bold, of course- and with very nice bullets, so I had to stop reading. Anyway, my guess is that lady consultant is very ugly. Otherwise she could have come up with a single, very easy step.