After a lot of past peer pressure -or I think it was peer pressure, it was 12 years ago- and recent boredom, I watched Lord of the rings. After 2 weeks, I've covered almost 40 minutes from the first movie already. So far Magneto cannot handle a small piece of metal, the bad guy from Matrix has more hair and less glasses and every midget is hungrier than Oprah during Ramadan (or the rest of the year).
In the first 40 minutes there's less action than in the starting credits, but I have 3 more hours to watch, so fingers crossed for a late-bloomer. But what I've found very exciting already is the lack of racism. It's not like those bigots in Avatar where everyone is tall and blue, except for the bad guy that tries to exterminate them and that Mexican lady (that was a tricky one you racist bastard, Mexicans are not a race. You didn't even blink). Ironically, the only guy to save Avatar from racism is the one that tries to exterminate the blue guys in order for the white guys to get some grey rocks. I guess it's okay to try and destroy a race for your own good (worst case scenario, people might say you're greedy). But if you do it for you AND your kind then it becomes racism and it is very frowned upon. Maybe the moral of that story is that racism is okay in small numbers? Hmm... let's rather move on towards a more comfortable conclusion.
In order to do away with racism, we have an eclectic goblins, orcs, elves, midgets and others I do not remember very well because they look the same. There's also the lesbian dragon that saves gray-beard from white-beard, or that immortal fit lady who gives up on immortality to be grow old near a human -there are even some humans, too. She doesn't know some male humans don't want to grow old near women that start growing old as well. Luckily, she can buy magic rings online that can keep the magic a bit more magic for a longer time. Based on the mature content rating, this option is not approached, but it could be a good idea to milk the franchise when the producers run of ideas.
Anyway. We have goblins, we have elves, hobbits, fairies and so on. And now for the most important part: there's at list one black or Asian person. Or a ginger. That's it. Problem solved. It doesn't matter everybody else in that race is white, as long as there's at least one character of a different color -preferably one that also has a line in the movie- it's all good.
We also learn that cooperation between races is good. Although they don't put their nuts in them, elves interact with trees better than squirrels ever will in real life. Goblins and orcs have sex in a basement (that reminds me of some corporate parties), apparently against their will because they don't seem to happy (corporate party déjà-vu) and this leads somehow to significantly taller super warrior killing machines. Another example is that you have greater chances of success when you stick together with other kinds (for instance, if you want to destroy a small piece of jewelry in a volcano).
Based on what I've seen so far, I'm happy with the level of diversity in the movie. From the first 40 minutes I can probably make an educate judgment about a movie that's almost 4 hours long as long as Frodo doesn't turn Walt-Disney on the elves. Assuming he doesn't, LOTR sets a high bar that other movies should follow.
In the upcoming remake of Jungle Book there should be at least a monkey with feathers, for diversity. We need to remember not all monkeys are the same; in some corporations, some have parking space reserved closer to the elevators and better chairs. And Baloo should be able to breathe under water. This way we avoid both fish racism and the stereotype that fat people aren't good at many things. The snake will probably be in HR. Political correctness all the way.
And maybe the tiger could wear a posh hat or hipster scarf, so people can't say he looks too much like the zebra.
P.S. Every movie has a prequel these days and there could be one for Jungle Book, too. It can be a movie where 2 people are having sex. Or -for diversity- maybe a few others join in. Nine months later the parents abandon the baby in the woods, but it's all good; we all know the baby will be okay as predatory carnivores take care of him.
Actually, I have no idea if there's a remake of the Jungle Book. And if you don't agree with the title of this post, you may imagine it's something about movies (Have you just checked the title again?).
In the first 40 minutes there's less action than in the starting credits, but I have 3 more hours to watch, so fingers crossed for a late-bloomer. But what I've found very exciting already is the lack of racism. It's not like those bigots in Avatar where everyone is tall and blue, except for the bad guy that tries to exterminate them and that Mexican lady (that was a tricky one you racist bastard, Mexicans are not a race. You didn't even blink). Ironically, the only guy to save Avatar from racism is the one that tries to exterminate the blue guys in order for the white guys to get some grey rocks. I guess it's okay to try and destroy a race for your own good (worst case scenario, people might say you're greedy). But if you do it for you AND your kind then it becomes racism and it is very frowned upon. Maybe the moral of that story is that racism is okay in small numbers? Hmm... let's rather move on towards a more comfortable conclusion.
In order to do away with racism, we have an eclectic goblins, orcs, elves, midgets and others I do not remember very well because they look the same. There's also the lesbian dragon that saves gray-beard from white-beard, or that immortal fit lady who gives up on immortality to be grow old near a human -there are even some humans, too. She doesn't know some male humans don't want to grow old near women that start growing old as well. Luckily, she can buy magic rings online that can keep the magic a bit more magic for a longer time. Based on the mature content rating, this option is not approached, but it could be a good idea to milk the franchise when the producers run of ideas.
Anyway. We have goblins, we have elves, hobbits, fairies and so on. And now for the most important part: there's at list one black or Asian person. Or a ginger. That's it. Problem solved. It doesn't matter everybody else in that race is white, as long as there's at least one character of a different color -preferably one that also has a line in the movie- it's all good.
We also learn that cooperation between races is good. Although they don't put their nuts in them, elves interact with trees better than squirrels ever will in real life. Goblins and orcs have sex in a basement (that reminds me of some corporate parties), apparently against their will because they don't seem to happy (corporate party déjà-vu) and this leads somehow to significantly taller super warrior killing machines. Another example is that you have greater chances of success when you stick together with other kinds (for instance, if you want to destroy a small piece of jewelry in a volcano).
Based on what I've seen so far, I'm happy with the level of diversity in the movie. From the first 40 minutes I can probably make an educate judgment about a movie that's almost 4 hours long as long as Frodo doesn't turn Walt-Disney on the elves. Assuming he doesn't, LOTR sets a high bar that other movies should follow.
In the upcoming remake of Jungle Book there should be at least a monkey with feathers, for diversity. We need to remember not all monkeys are the same; in some corporations, some have parking space reserved closer to the elevators and better chairs. And Baloo should be able to breathe under water. This way we avoid both fish racism and the stereotype that fat people aren't good at many things. The snake will probably be in HR. Political correctness all the way.
And maybe the tiger could wear a posh hat or hipster scarf, so people can't say he looks too much like the zebra.
P.S. Every movie has a prequel these days and there could be one for Jungle Book, too. It can be a movie where 2 people are having sex. Or -for diversity- maybe a few others join in. Nine months later the parents abandon the baby in the woods, but it's all good; we all know the baby will be okay as predatory carnivores take care of him.
Actually, I have no idea if there's a remake of the Jungle Book. And if you don't agree with the title of this post, you may imagine it's something about movies (Have you just checked the title again?).
