Tall blue guys and a not-so-tall green guy

People are getting suicidal after watching Avatar. A good thing, you might say, it's called natural selection. (Or as the Germans put it, Die hippie!)
If we sit down and think of it for a while is a big if, because thinking is so rare these days. But assuming we do, a few things come to mind.

Life in Pandora would be nice for a while, as she was created by Zeus as a beautiful, attractive woman. However, in the long run, you may hear from Epimetheus or get a nasty box that Wikipedia calls a jar.
Back to the movie, Pandora is not really such a great place after all. There are some glow-in-the-dark flowers, some beautiful trees but there's also a lot of nasty animals and other dangers. The Amazon forest looks nice on Discovery, but try living there for a while; there's no electricity, internet, if any, would be outrageously expensive, it's hot, it's moist, there are tons of insects, snakes and other predators. And, worst of all, there are megacorps cleaning it all up, because wood is, you know... profitable. Admittedly, you don't have floating mountains and flying dragons, but it's okay if you have vertigo.

It's not all bad, though: the hairy USB port that seems to be compatible across all species is a great thing and would make many things much easier: we wouldn't need to whip the horses, we could find our way in the forest, Lassie would save the day earlier and I wouldn't be ripped off by paying a fortune to Nokia for their incompatible discontinued chargers. So yes, a truly universal port, that's what I'd like to have. No more German or French lessons, no more fifteen adapters, 8 remotes and no more Sony Memory Sticks.

And assuming Pandora actually existed it's almost certain humans would ruin it the minute they set foot there. Remember what happened not so many hundreds of years ago, when the Indians from the tribe of the Native Americans and the Caucasian white man met in the land of the free (unless you were a slave)? One minute they were roaming the land, riding their mustangs, hand in hoof with the buffalo, the next minute it's all moonshine and casinos. The nice Pandorans would turn into Native Aliens, stop walking around naked and go to pick cotton faster than you can say Leonard Peltier. People kill themselves because they can't go to Pandora, but guess who'd storm to the drug cabinet if they did.

If we go there, a suitable character to invade this beautiful alien world would be the new Universal Soldier. He's not really suitable at all, but I mentioned a midget in the title, so there you go. Of course I didn't see the movie, that would be worse than Denzel Washington as the bad guy, saving the Bible.

Intelligent evolution

In the beginning was the word. And God turned it into an amoeba. The amoeba agreed and said "Word". Then it grew up and turned directly into human, as frogs and monkeys have nothing to do with it. Dinosaurs are also ruled out, since they cannot fit the garden of Eden. Man -let's call him Adam- then had a woman and a bit later the snake had her too and gave her an apple -probably an iPod shuffle- to shut her up. And probably some STDs, but this is still open for debate (yes, only that, because all other stuff is so well established, verified and beyond any doubt).
As we all know, once you get an iPod you have instant great personality so she gave Adam a bite and left him with an ugly scar. Then they had make-up sex and had one son. And then they had two, and then only one again. As there were no other women, the son had sex with his mother and had a lot of sons and daughters. And so the world began.

While this theory of massive inbreeding may explain why we have politicians and lawyers, it leaves pretty much everything else uncovered. On the other hand, evolution is more reasonable, because I want my offspring to be Optimus Prime with Wolverine claws and Chuck Norris facts.

And bald, just to piss him off.
I'm going to be a great dad.