Dr. Housekeeping's adventures with leather

As the light starts to bend around the trashcan, I realize it's about time to stop trying to cram and actually take out the trash. The normal-sized garbage bag weighs about 635 kilograms before disposal, and now it's maybe 630 and a bit. I could probably squeeze a few more days, but the smell is getting tricky. Mango pits get a funky aroma after a couple of weeks in the bin. You really cannot trust anyone these days...
Here how it all started. If you have some fruit, lemon juice, an oven and a lot of time you can make fruit leather. I tried it with mango, and while the result was tasty, the work involved was not. Cutting fruit, washing the dishes and watching the oven closely for 11 hours is not a very adventurous story. Before you start to get bored, please accept my apologies. I'll move on.

It was a late, cold autumn. A truffle hog was going to the market in the big city to take care of some business. As he passed through the forest (there's always a forest), Hernandez -the wolf with learning difficulties- gave chase and ate him. Failing to see the financial potential of owning a truffle hog in the long run, the hungry wolf opted for the quick reward instead. Wild mammals are not as evolved as humans and hence not very good at exploiting other innocent creatures for their direct benefit. Trouble is, the hog was expected at the market. His cousin, Fred, was supposed to meet him. More importantly, Fred was supposed to pick up a package of expensive truffles from him. Even more importantly, Fred had strong connections in underground circles. If you think of it, truffles are a bit of an underground thing, too, like moles and buried treasures. However, Fred's connections are much more dangerous than that. And these dangerous connections set in motion to investigate what happened to the package and to Fred's cousin. They sent Foxy, the sniper fox. All this ballyhoo spelled trouble for Hernandez, but he was as bad at spelling as he was at exploiting and was blissfully unaware; happiness is a common trait among the ignorant. He was enjoying an extended siesta after a lovely grill sprinkled with grated truffles.
The smell of grill quickly led Foxy straight to the wolf's lair. Problem is, he was big and strong while she was not. And based on statistics, in confrontations between wolves and foxes the fox rarely wins. A plan was required. As she was struggling for one, Hernandez fell asleep.
He was suddenly woken up by Foxy's incredibly sensual voice, which -in addition to finding himself tied to the bed- made him think an already great day was getting even better. But Foxy had other plans. Ugly plans. And a bag of tools that spelled even more trouble. And no matter how bad he was at spelling, Hernandez realized this wasn't good. And before Foxy reached for the bag, he admitted to everything. At this point it was quite difficult to bring back Fred's cousin but on the plus side most of the truffles were still intact. And this was the most important part of Foxy's mission. Pigs are very human when it comes to prioritizing their own benefit against somebody else's life.
Still, you cannot steal from the baddies and get away untouched. Fred would look weak. And Fred doesn't want to look weak. And Foxy didn't want Fred to think she was weak. Hernandez had to be a dire example for anyone that would consider stealing from Fred in the future. And Foxy had to do the dirty work. She didn't like this. As a sniper, she was more partial remote killing than close encounter. But she had to do it. She reached for the ominously-looking bag and pulled out a... But maybe I'm boring you with this again. Sorry about that, I'll stop.