They always come at night. Or during the day.

They come with critical issues, or at least that's how they see them. It's your fault. It's not them, it's you. You've got to fix it. Now! ASAP!

You have to. Because they're always right.
And by the time you alt-tabbed to something more interesting, they've already escalated.

You may think it's all bad, but it's not. If you're the support monkey, you get a bit intimidated in the first days. Maybe some tears at night, too, for the faint of heart. Before too long, though, you get used to it; the yelling, the phones, the meetings, it's all white noise. Say yes no matter what customers and managers ask to keep the conversation short, ask for logs, tell them to do stuff to pass the time and keep them busy, provide solutions, say yes again and alt-tab to something more interesting; case closed. Don't get too involved, learn to play games discreetly at meetings, remember to take your sexual harassment and corporate conduct training, and life can be sweet.

If you happen to run the monkey cage, however, you struck gold. Outrageous pay, stock options, huge benefits. You don't even have to take the sexual harassment trainings, and if you're high enough on the ladder you may even get caught and get away with it. Jackpot!

Here's an easy recipe to make a successful support center:

1. Come up with a product that businesses need and adopt (not that easy).
2. Don't mess it up for a few years (not that hard).
3. As soon as it bakes to enough mass adoption, quickly take it off the oven and swap it with the support center (easy and cheap; many developers cost more than fewer support monkeys).
4. When the support center has risen nicely, quickly cut it in thinner and thinner slices and replace/add a new one in the ASAP APAC region (piss easy and even cheaper; support monkeys in the US or EMEA are expensive; those in APAC, not that expensive).
5. You're almost done. Remember to sprinkle new versions on your products every few months to keep it fresh, because nothing keeps customers and monkeys busy more than upgrades (optional but recommended).

That's all there is to it: a successful support center in 5 easy steps. To spice it up a little, you may throw smaller companies in to the mix every once in a while. You may buy now and align them to your company's strategy (and charge support for those, too) or compete with them in 5 years.
Serve chilled, on a yacht.