16 June, 2009

Irony

All movies today are remakes or sequels. The movie industry has learned a lot from the porn movie industry, apparently. And while I doubt we'll see D.I.L.F. Vader gagged and Yoda explaining how his light saber turned midget-green in Episode 48: Soccer-Granny Leia, I don't have an interesting ending for this phrase, actually.

One interesting thing about remakes is that characters keep up with modern times. Jedi masters dress like pimps, talk like chavs and advice pushers to think about their life. Spiderman gets pissy and everything in general is post-911. The Duke will probably quit smoking, the Godfather will shop at Walmart and Jaws will be very boring due to global warming. And even the next Batmobile will be Superman-friendly.
Jake Torrance gets a GPS but he'll still freeze his ass in the maze because he doesn't know how to use it.

In the movie Sleepers, 4 boys do something stupid and they're sent to juvenile jail. They get molested there by the wardens. The only person to understand, help and protect them is a priest. As I said in the title: irony... If they were to do Sleepers 2, De Niro could cover Bacon's part, too.

1 comment:

ReallyEvilCanine said...

Excellent analysis. My wife (who worked in film and is a D-list train wreck fan) not only cracked multiple smiles but actually laughed a bit, so fair fucks to you for that.

Hollywood will be screaming about TEH PIE-RASSY IS RUINING US!!! even more this year as their entire slew of children's board games-based films tank. Good riddance.