People are getting suicidal after watching Avatar. A good thing, you might say, it's called natural selection. (Or as the Germans put it, Die hippie!)
If we sit down and think of it for a while is a big if, because thinking is so rare these days. But assuming we do, a few things come to mind.
Life in Pandora would be nice for a while, as she was created by Zeus as a beautiful, attractive woman. However, in the long run, you may hear from Epimetheus or get a nasty box that Wikipedia calls a jar.
Back to the movie, Pandora is not really such a great place after all. There are some glow-in-the-dark flowers, some beautiful trees but there's also a lot of nasty animals and other dangers. The Amazon forest looks nice on Discovery, but try living there for a while; there's no electricity, internet, if any, would be outrageously expensive, it's hot, it's moist, there are tons of insects, snakes and other predators. And, worst of all, there are megacorps cleaning it all up, because wood is, you know... profitable. Admittedly, you don't have floating mountains and flying dragons, but it's okay if you have vertigo.
It's not all bad, though: the hairy USB port that seems to be compatible across all species is a great thing and would make many things much easier: we wouldn't need to whip the horses, we could find our way in the forest, Lassie would save the day earlier and I wouldn't be ripped off by paying a fortune to Nokia for their incompatible discontinued chargers. So yes, a truly universal port, that's what I'd like to have. No more German or French lessons, no more fifteen adapters, 8 remotes and no more Sony Memory Sticks.
And assuming Pandora actually existed it's almost certain humans would ruin it the minute they set foot there. Remember what happened not so many hundreds of years ago, when the Indians from the tribe of the Native Americans and the Caucasian white man met in the land of the free (unless you were a slave)? One minute they were roaming the land, riding their mustangs, hand in hoof with the buffalo, the next minute it's all moonshine and casinos. The nice Pandorans would turn into Native Aliens, stop walking around naked and go to pick cotton faster than you can say Leonard Peltier. People kill themselves because they can't go to Pandora, but guess who'd storm to the drug cabinet if they did.
If we go there, a suitable character to invade this beautiful alien world would be the new Universal Soldier. He's not really suitable at all, but I mentioned a midget in the title, so there you go. Of course I didn't see the movie, that would be worse than Denzel Washington as the bad guy, saving the Bible.
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6 comments:
Apparently we are a lot less likely to kill ourselves over Pandora if we take the darn 3d goggles off and watch the other loosers in the crowd :)
Everyone that went mad about this film are experiencing serious headaches when they think. Well, fortunately for them, the headaches happen rarely :))
well, I DID feel a violent urge of cutting my wrists open after watching that masterpiece, but for different reasons ;)
It would be nice to hear a suicidal's opinion, but if he/she realy means business, I guess it's too late now...
Would you like to experience a 5-second headache?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=354DTR1kQBI
AIWA!
@Anonymous: Oh, and how would I, yes. It's only 5 seconds. 5.144032921810699588477366255144e-4 times shorter than the original. A pretty good number, because it has sixes and sevens in it, which is not relevant at all, and there's a five, too, right at the beginning. I hope this settles any doubt.
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