18 November, 2014

It's not about the destination. It's not about the trip, either.

Sometimes it's all about the person you're traveling with. If you're going to the loo with a friend before the movie starts (hopefully at the cinema, it's strange if you hit the bog accompanied when at home) and you notice there's only one unoccupied cubicle, you'd secretly wish they slipped or stopped to pick up the phone. Hmm... I guess the destination is still important in this case. OK, never mind this.
Some wizards are not very good at spells and magic, like the ones that prompt you to click Next, Next, I agree, Install to default path, Yes, I said I agree, Finish (fine, reboot as well). They are good at other things, such as reading various things and performing tasks, but the only thing magic about them is not crashing so often. Others though -unlike the ones I'm referring to after the failed example about what's important during a trip- are quite good. They live in a hut in the woods, know spells, can catch glimpses of the future and make magic potions. If I could see the future and cook magic potions I surely would not live in a hut. And my magic potions would be sold by the gram -elegantly wrapped in cling film- in certain parts of the kingdom. Also, I would make sure there are always cubicles available before the movie begins, I would cast away the ads and trailers for the stupid movies and I would lower the price of popcorn. Right now, movie popcorn is as expensive -gram for gram- as the potions I would make if I had magic powers. Oh, and fit maidens would be a thing of the recent past.
Should the path of a wizard cross the path of a lumberjack superhero from the same wood and a different story, that would be quite a fight. A clash between adamantium sideburns and a wizard like Gandalf the Gray (or White, depending on which part you're watching) would be more epic than James Bond and Hellboy teaming up to investigate mysterious murders (true story). Unfortunately, Canada is pretty far from New Zealand, just like ‘The Fast And The Furious’ is pretty far from being a watchable series. Still, I'd bet my money on the wizard, based on the serious thought I've given to which superpower I'd like to have and how to would use it. And no, I will not explain here, you never know when you may use this against my... no, no-no-no no, I'm not falling for that one. Needless to say, in the third round an enchanted dragon would significantly tilt the balance and I’d win. Well the wizard would, but it feels like I’m already part of this. Plus, the money I’ve bet is real. The dragon cannot be enchanted before the third round, as the first two are usually spent trying to remember the spell.
Unfortunately, we will never know who'd win because one day a cute fluffy bunny got lost, went into the wizard's hut to shelter from the rain (it was raining the day it got lost), came across his magic concoctions and ate them all thinking they were candy. When they kicked in, it ate the wizard, ate the lumberjack and used the adamantium claws as toothpicks. Afterwards it calmed down a bit, found its way back home, went home and lived happily ever after. Except for some bizarre visions that kicked in during the following few days but eventually faded. Well, at least I wouldn't risk losing money on a bet; sometimes these wizards are sneaky bastards. I would spend it instead for a ticket to this movie. And maybe some popcorn. You know this is a movie you want to watch. And the trip there is worth it if the traffic isn’t that bad. Well, sometimes it is about the trip. And the destination. And it doesn’t matter who you’re going with, as long as they have set the phone to silent when they came out of the bathroom and don’t interrupt to ask you about the plot during the movie. And ask for permission before taking your popcorn, because they wanted to get nachos. Sometimes the title is misleading. As is the first sentence in this story. I guess the moral of the story is to never trust fluffy things as promising stories or cute bunnies.

No comments: